He Doesnt Do Much
by makorralover99
Summary: Perry's life is pretty normal. a loving family and a crazy nemisis what more could a platypus want? But Phineas' idea wild idea to turn Perry human certainly changes things. Will Phineas and Ferb change their friend back in time? Find out! WARNING: cussing and strong sugestive themes. Slight Phinerb pairing. DONT LIKE IT DONT READ. Also mainly Perry/Vanessa. Review Please!
1. Chapter 1

**K so first story fingers crossed!**

**NO FLAMES PLEASE!**

**WARNING: Phineaferb pairing! (Don't like it don't read) also mild cussing Rated T for a reason people!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN PHINEAS AND FERB!**

**Chapter 1**

Phineas' POV

16 year old Phineas Flynn woke up to a loud "Krrrrrrrrrr" he opened his eyes to see his beloved pet platypus Perry sitting on his chest. He smiled. He loved waking up to that! He yawned and sat up.

"Mornin' Perry." He said sleepily scratching his pet affectionately earning another happy "krrrrrrrrrrrrr" He looked over to his sleeping step-brother. "Hey Ferb, time to wake up." His slightly older brother just mumbled in his sleep and rolled over.

A devious smile came across the redheads lips as he got out of his own bed and walked over to Ferb's. He brought his lips close to his brother's ears and as loud as he could he yelled "HEY FEEEERRRB!"

The seventeen year old boy shot up out of his sleep shouting "The biscuits are in the oven!"

Phineas laughed as his brother glared at him. "That wasn't funny Phin!" he said in his thick British accent. Phineas was still chuckling "Oh it was all too funny Ferby. That's what you get for not waking up." He stated simply. Ferb just smiled and rolled his eyes. He could never stay mad at his brother for long. They were silent as the got ready for the day.

Both boys had changed over the years. Phineas had let his hair grow out slightly long and shaggy but it looked good on him. He had stopped wearing shorts all the time and stuck to regular jeans. He wore mostly striped t-shirts and hoodies. He was average height and was skinny. He wasn't too muscular but still kept a nicely toned body. If you asked girls they would say he was fairly attractive (except if you asked Isabella who would say he was the sexiest man alive)

His brother Ferb had changed drastically. His strangely colored green hair was done in that sexy-bedhead look. He had grown quite tall and was lean but also quite muscular. He wore mostly skinny jeans and flannel button up shirts. He with his British accent and charming personality drove the girls, and sometimes the guys, crazy. But he politely turned down the guys. Even though the girls practically threw themselves at him, he almost always turned them down. Phineas always wondered why this was.

One time, out of curiosity, he had watched his brother turn down yet another girl. Ferb had simply told the girl that he loved someone else. Phineas had tried to ignore the pain in his heart as he heard Ferb say he was in love with someone else. They were step-bothers. He should be happy for Ferb. Because they were _just _step-brothers, Right?** (AN: Oh Phineas you don't know how wrong you are. Eh? Eh? *wink wink* *Nudge nudge*…..*ehem* right, the story.) **

As they made their way down stairs Perry followed. They ate there breakfast and Perry gave Phineas a look like '_What? No food for me?' _the redhead laughed as he started to make his pet breakfast. "Ya know Perry sometimes I wish you could talk."

"We tried that already." His brother said.

Phineas rolled his eyes well yeah but…I got it! Let's turn Perry human!" the teen exclaimed

Both the Brit and the platypus looked at Phineas like he was crazy. "Come on!" the excited ginger exclaimed "Perry, Human! That would be awesome."

Ferb contemplated this before nodding. Phineas grinned "Great! Let's get started!" he pulled his brother and pet away from their half-eaten breakfasts'.

But as they stared working Ferb hesitated. Giving his brother a look that said '_are you sure this is a good idea?'_ Phineas just grinned "What's worst that could happen?"

Perry's POV

Perry sighed as he watched his two beloved owners work on yet another project. And this one seemed to be the most insane one yet. Turning him human! He had watched helplessly as Phineas exclaimed the idea praying the young redhead was joking. He wasn't. sometimes he thinks the universe hates him. Damn universe.

He had wanted to get up and smack some sense into the poor boy but being the obedient pet he was he restrained himself.

Now all he could do was hope and pray that Major Monigram called him in for a mission before the machine was finished.

As if on cue his watch buzzed. Meaning he was needed to defeat Dr. D once again. He grinned and started to walk off but Phineas saw him and picked him up. "Sorry boy but we really need you to stay here today." Perry sighed again. He loved the boy to death but right now he wished he wasn't here. Phineas kept a close eye on him so there was no chance of escape.

Then the boys' group of friends walked in. Isabella, the girl that was hopelessly in love with Phineas, Baljeet the scrawny nerd, and Buford the ex-bully.

"Hey Phineas, Watcha' dooin'?" she said batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.

Phineas blatantly ignored her flirting. "Oh hey Isabella. We're turning Perry human. Wanna' help?" she giggled "I'd help you with anything Phineas." Perry wanted to barf. Ferb silently glared at Isabella with annoyance and….. was that jealousy? Was Ferb jealous of Isabella?

He shook it off. It was probably nothing.

Buford then leaned over and whispered something in Baljeets ear. The indian boy blushed and swatted the bully's arm playfully. Buford chuckled and whispered something else in the smaller boys ear. Baljeet's whole face was red. "E-excuse m-m-me e-everyone but I-I have t-to go." He said still blushing. Buford smirked "Damn right you do." The he intertwined his fingers with Baljeet's and pulled him out of the yard. **(AN: IDK if this will be a Bujeet pairing so don't ask) **

Everyone raised an eyebrow as they watched the duo leave but shrugged it off.

As the group finished build he thought about how he could be kicking Doofenshmurts butt right now. He chuckled thinking about his friend/nemesis/double-dutch partner. He certainly was a strange man.

His train of thought was ended when Phineas picked him up and brought him over to the platform. "Okay buddy this won't hurt a bit." The platypus doubted that.

Perry was scared shitless. He was trembling as Phineas brought his hand down on a big red button. Then there was a bright flash of light.

**Here ya go! **

**Review and tell me what u thought. Sorry for the cliffhanger (no im not muahahaha :) )**

**Next chapter…Idk. Hopefully soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please read!**

**WooHoo! Chapter 2 baby!**

**Im so sorry for the late update. I know I said it'd be soon but hey, I have I life you know! Well kinda. But I have school and everything so you try to juggle that on top of writing a story. Sorry if you hate me!**

**Talking Zebra: I don't hate you, Kevin. :3**

**Me: Well at least the talking zebra doesn't hate me. Wait talking zebra? **

**(turns to see talking zebra gone.)**

**Me: oooookay? Well my weird hallucinations aside, my bday is Thursday the 11****th****! Woohoo! I'm so pumped! And all I want for my bday is for all you awesome people out there to review my story! Please? Not too much to ask. You wouldn't let me down on my bday would you? *puppy dog face***

**Well time for me to shut up and continue with the story.**

Chapter 2

Ferb's POV

Ferb sighed as he watched his brother place their pet on the platform. He still wasn't sure if this was a good idea. But he'd go along with whatever Phineas planned. He really would do anything for his brother.

He sighed as he watched the other teen man the controls. He wanted nothing more than to swoop him up in his arms and kiss him senseless. To run his fingers through Phineas' red hair and…..he stopped his train of thought. He shouldn't be thinking these things. They were brothers for god's sake!

_Step-brothers. Not real brothers._ A small voice in his head said. He shut that voice out.

He cleared his throat. "Everything ready Phin?" the other boy nodded and brought his hand down on the big red button. There was a bright flash of light. There, where their pet platypus had been moments ago, laid an unconscious blue haired boy. he was naked except for his collar and a fedora that somehow got on his head.

"Perry!" Phineas gasped and ran over to the boy. "Did it work?" Ferb asked. Phineas rolled his eyes "Of course it worked." The redhead pressed his hand to the boy- err, Perry's neck checking for a pulse. Phineas breathed a sigh of relief "He's alive. Out cold but alive." He then turned to Isabella who was staring at Perry in shock. "Isabella can you go inside and get a blanket?" Isabella just stuttered "H-h-he's n-naked!" Ferb rolled his eyes. God, this girl is dense. "Well yes that would be what the blanket is for." Isabella blushed and hurried inside to find a blanket. Phineas was staring down at Perry with a worried expression on his face. "You okay Phin?" His brother sighed and shook his head "I just hope he's okay Ferb. I'd hate myself if anything happened to him, especially if it was my fault." Ferb put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault Phin." Phineas looked up at him. "Yes it was Ferb. It was _my _idea, therefore _my _fault." Phineas looked back down at their beloved pet. "I just hope he's okay."

Ferb sighed. He did too.

Perry's POV

Perry woke up in Phineas' bed with a splitting headache. _What happened? _He thought to himself. He winced at put his hand to his head. Wait _hand_? He looked to see he no longer had a furry teal paw but instead a normal human hand.

Perry gasped and looked down at the rest of his body. Human legs, human arms, human chest, and he put his hand on his face and checked it. Human head! His duck bill and beaver tail were gone. He quickly jumped of the bed, ignoring the protest of his headache. As he reached the bathroom and looked in the mirror he gasped. In the mirror he saw a boy who was about eighteen. The boy had shaggy teal blue hair and had on his fedora. He was wearing a blue v neck t-shirt that was tight enough to where it showed off the muscles under it. He was also wearing bright orange skinny jeans. The boy in the mirror had brown eyes and was quite handsome. He had a strong chin and broad shoulders. He was muscular but not the type of muscular where you're like 'omg that guys a freak.' But more to where you're like 'omg will you marry me?'.

Perry gulped. He was a man! Wait there was one thing he still hadn't checked. He quickly unbuttoned his pants and looked inside his boxers. He gulped again. Yep he was a man all right. Quite a lot of man. **(AN: Lol. Vanessa's a lucky girl if you know what I mean. Aw shit! Spoiler alert!)**

He buttoned up he pants and walked out of the bathroom in a daze. How did he become human? All he remembered was- Perry stopped in his track as he remembered Phineas' idea. "The boys!" he said aloud. He covered his mouth with his hands. He could talk!

He needed to find the boys. As if on cue Phineas and Ferb walked in. "Perry, you're awake! How are you feeling? Are you okay? Can you talk? Are all limbs moving properly? Can you-" Ferb covered his brothers mouth with his hand. "Easy Phin. We don't even know if we can understand us. He still has the mind of a platypus." Perry smiled. "Don't worry Ferb I can understand perfectly fine." Ferb's jaw dropped and Phineas grinned "You can talk! I knew this would work! This is so cool! We'll all be best friends and-" Phineas was cut off when Perry's communicator watch beeped and showed a holographic image of Major Monogram. "Agent P where have you been! We had to send in Agent Planty to defeat Dr. Doofenshmurts! We-" Perry cut him off by covering his wrist watch with his hand but you could still hear his muffled voice. "Agent P! Agent P? Oh well, end the transmission Carl!"

Phineas and Ferb stood there gob smacked. "Wh-what was that about? Why do you have a watch with a tiny talking man on it?"

Perry panicked. The boys couldn't find out _again_! The first time had been a disaster! "Oh, uh, it was nothing!"

Phineas still pressed on "B-but!"

"Why don't we go get something to eat? I'm starving!"

Before the brothers could reply the ex-platypus rushed down the stairs. He quickly began searching the cabinets for something to eat. Gosh, what would he eat? He had no idea what would taste good. Hmmm, let's see…..Cereal! Phineas and Ferb ate that all the time!

He was just about to grab it when he heard a female voice from behind.

"Perry?"

He turned around to see a brunette wearing all black leather. He gulped. How was he supposed to get out of this one. She stared at him her eyes wide with shock. Nervously he stammered "H-hi Vanessa!"

**Whoo! Its done! Im so relieved! The talking zebra and I worked very hard on this chapter**

**Talking Zebra: You mean I worked hard Kevin.**

**Me: Quiet you!**

**Anyway. Im so excited for my bday! Remember my birthday wish! Review! Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER! SORRY**

**Yes im sure you were all hoping this was an actual chapter but its isnt. its just an authors note. So sorry! :'( Please dont kill me! *hides in a corner***

**So anyway i just wanted to say that im sorry that i havent updated in like a month. but my laptop has bee totally jacked up and i couldnt do anything on it and it was practically useless. it was ****_killing _****me not being able to update. but now its all fixed and im back in buisness baby! im gonna get started on chapter 3 right away! bear with me people!**

**Love,**

**kayla**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey so heres chapter three! Enjoy my lovelies!**

**Me and the talking zebra both apologize for the long wait for this chapter but as I said in my authors note it was my laptops fault. (I blame the talking zebra though)**

**Talking Zebra: Hey don't blame me Kevin!**

**Me: I'll blame whoever the hell I want.**

**Talking Zebra: *cries* T-T**

**Me: *feels guilty* hey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry! Let's just blame the universe okay? Please stop crying!**

**Talking Zebra: *sniffle* okay *sniffle***

**Me: anyway….ON WITH THE STORY! xD**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING!**

**Chapter 3**

**Vanessa's POV**

Vanessa sighed as her father pulled up in front of her friend Candace's house. "Bye dad.", said the brunette as she got out of her dads truck. "Goodbye sweetie! Have fun and be good- err, I mean evil!" her father said in his thick German accent.

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "Whatever dad. Shouldn't you be getting your butt kicked by a platypus right about now?" she said putting her hands on her hips.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz glared at her before replying "Well I would but he didn't show up today for some reason."

"Well bye dad. Love you." She said walking towards the house. "Love you to sweetie!" he called after her "Stay safe!"

Vanessa rolled her eyes. It wasn't like she would be in any danger at the Flynn-Fletcher house. Come to think of it, she had never been to Candace's house. It was either the hung out in public or at Vanessa's house. She shrugged and knocked the door. When no one answered she just opened it.

_Guess these people are really open and welcoming. _Vanessa thought to herself as she walked in the house. She froze in place when she saw a boy standing in the kitchen. The boy had his back facing her and was rummaging through the cabinets as if looking for something. The boy looked about two years younger than her and had teal blue hair. He was wearing a fedora, a blue t-shirt, and orange skinny jeans. To this day Vanessa still doesn't know how she knew who it was but somehow she just did.

"Perry?" She asked hesitantly

The boy turned around displaying his extremely handsome face. He stared at her in shock with smoldering brown eyes. She could just_ melt _into those brown eyes.

"H-hi Vanessa!" he stammered nervously.

"Perry is that really you?" she asked taking a nervous step forward. He nodded and spread is hand in a 'ta-da' gesture. "Yep. It's me." He said.

Vanessa thought her jaw might hit the floor. She blinked and stammered "B-but your h-h-human! H-how did-", she was interrupted when two boys came down stairs. "Perry! You never told us-", he stopped when he saw Vanessa standing there. "Oh, um, hello." The red haired boy said. The one behind him was my ex-boyfriend and now best friend, Ferb.

"Vanessa?" he asked confused

"Ferb?" Vanessa asked also confused.

"Vanessa?" Perry asked confused

Then the red haired boy said "Phineas!" and we all looked at him. He blushed and looked down. "What?" he said softly "I wanted to do it too…"

Vanessa shut her eyes and pinched the brim of her nose. "Moving on. Perry, how do you know Ferb and why are you human?" she asked glaring at the plat- err, teenage boy.

Before Perry could answer Ferb answered for him. "He knows me because he's our pet platypus and he's currently human because my crazy brother turned him into one." The redhead-Phineas- glared at him and said defensively "I'm not crazy, I'm creative!"

Vanessa turned to Perry in disbelief, "You're a _pet_? You; secret agent, Agent P. You, the same platypus that comes and kicks my dad's ass every day." Vanessa found the idea very amusing and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing. She had always thought of Perry to be the badass, attractive, secret agent not a pet with like a food bowl and a collar and everything. Wait did she just say attractive?

Perry's eyed filled with panic and he brought a finger to his mouth. "Shhhhh! don't talk about-"

Perry was interrupted by Phineas who glared at Perry accusingly "Did she just call you Agent P? That's the same thing that guy on the hologram said! What's going on here?"

Everyone stared at Perry for an answer. The ex-platypus rubbed the back of his neck nervously and stared at the ground. "Well you see…." He couldn't finish because then all of the sudden Vanessa's dad opened the door.

"Vanessa darling!" he said looking at her "You forgot your cell phone!"

As soon as the Doctor came in the house Perry immediately sprang into action. He jumped in front of Phineas and Ferb protectively and got in a fight position glaring at Vanessa's father. Vanessa couldn't help but notice how hot he looked like that. His eyes piercing and his muscles clenched. It was enough to turn her on. What was she thinking! This was her father's nemesis! Although, had always been nice to her…

Dr. D stopped to look at the teenage boy. "Oh, um…..hi. Say, you look awfully familiar." The evil scientist said rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Perry mad a growling 'krrrrrrr' sound at the doctor. How he could still make that sound Vanessa had no idea.

Dr. D's eyes widened. "Okay that sounds _really _familiar!"

Vanessa rolled her eyes. For an evil genius her father could be pretty stupid sometimes. "Dad, that's Perry for fucks sake."

Dr. D narrowed his eyes at her "Language young lady!" he scolded "And how could that be Perry? Perry is a platypus and lives at the agency like all the other secret agents."

That was enough to make Phineas blow his top "What is all this talk about secret agents? Perry for the last time, what is going on?"

Everyone stared at Perry again. Perry gulped as he prepared to explain himself.

**WooHoo! Its done! So tired. I stayed up till midnight last night working on this thing and all day today. Well maybe not all day. But its done! Next chappie should be soon also! Goodbye my lovelies! **


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